I showed up at work today and found a big ass plate of chocolate chip cookies on the break room table. They looked like your standard chocolate chip cookie except for one cookie........
This cookie!!!! Look at it!!!!
I considered putting it on Ebay but instead threw it in my mouth and ate it.
I overheard someone the other day say "Santa Claus is the most annoying person I know". I mean...how is he annoying? He's a dude who's primary job is to spread joy and happiness throughout the world. What's annoying about that? Yeah, his laugh can get under your skin a bit. But really? Annoying? I told the guy that I disagreed. He responded by telling me to mind my own business. I responded with "when it comes to Santa Claus, it's my bizz". The guy and his friend immediately walked away from me.
Dan...if you are reading this...when the fuck are we going to hang out?