Saturday, December 29, 2007

Well? What do you think?

On a recent visit for an eye check up...umm..back in October..I was told I would need glasses to help get me through the work day. And according to the little man working behind the counter, I was informed that rectangular glasses would compliment my round head. Round head?!!?! What? Really??! Round? Eh..whatcha gonna do? I was born with it..and it's not only round..it's big. God bless my poor mother. So anyway, here are my new glasses. Not too shabby. Right?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Current score: Max - 1, Me - 0


Meet Max the hairless cat, or Mrs. B as I've been calling her. Mrs. B is short for Mrs. Bigglesworth, which comes from the Austin Powers movies....you know..Dr Evil had a hairless cat named Mr. Bigglesworth....yeah, I'm pretty clever. And to be honest she's not really hairless. She has hair. Just really really short hairs. So it's more of an illusion of being hairless. She sort of looks like an old matted down shower rug..only with legs and whiskers.

Max belongs to my friend Mariel who is in Philadelphia for the holidays and she has asked me to take care of Max while she was gone. So for the past few days me and Max have been hanging out together having a great time together. My only real responsibility with Max other than entertaining her was to feed her 1/4 can of wet cat food in the morning and a 1/4 can at night, fill her water dish, make sure she had plenty of dry cat food for her to pick at throughout the day and keep the litter box free of ummm...debris. All was good until yesterday. Yesterday I got back a little later than I had planned and didn't get a chance to feed Max her evening 1/4 can of wet food. Which meant Max would be getting her dinner from the big pile of dry cat food, and well, that must have pissed her off and she was about to let me know how pissed she was.

So I walked into the house, opened up the fridge to enjoy some left over General Tso's Chicken (which belonged to my friend Shawn. Sorry Shawn) and started digging in. I was about four or five bites into my food when Max marched into the kitchen, parked herself right up to the empty dish where the wet cat food usually goes into. She stared at it then looked up at me and then turned her attention back to the plate. Knowing that she now had my undivided attention, she then started this heaving thing and as I stood there with General Tso's on my fork, she began to empty the entire contents of her stomach (which happened to be full of dry cat food) right onto her dish and then she walked away like nothing happened. I didn't know what to say. I just stood there. She was basically saying "FUCK YOU, DUDE...FUCK YOU AND YOUR DRY CAT FOOD". I was so horrified about what just happened that I crawled into bed and went to sleep. I may have even cried a little bit.

Wow, what a spiteful little kitty.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The end is here!


In my 38 years of living, this has never happened. I have never ever made it to the end of a lip balm tube....until now! Look at the photo. The tube is empty. I've either lost them before making it to the end or I let someone borrow it and decided to let them keep it because their lips were either gross or they were bleeding.

I really don't know why I let them borrow it in the first place.