Waiting for my meatball to come back to me

I was singing the song ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI to my daughter today and after singing the song for the 200th time in a row to her, I realized that the first two verses of the song are a metaphor for divorce.

On top of spaghetti

All covered with cheese

I lost my poor meatball

When somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table

And on to the floor

And then my poor meatball

Rolled out the front door

Not to get too personal, but that somebody who sneezed was me and I'm still hoping my meatball will come back to my spaghetti all covered with cheese.

Chocolate Chip Cookies and Santa Claus

I showed up at work today and found a big ass plate of chocolate chip cookies on the break room table. They looked like your standard chocolate chip cookie except for one cookie........

This cookie!!!! Look at it!!!!

I considered putting it on Ebay but instead threw it in my mouth and ate it.

I overheard someone the other day say "Santa Claus is the most annoying person I know". I mean...how is he annoying? He's a dude who's primary job is to spread joy and happiness throughout the world. What's annoying about that? Yeah, his laugh can get under your skin a bit. But really? Annoying? I told the guy that I disagreed. He responded by telling me to mind my own business. I responded with "when it comes to Santa Claus, it's my bizz". The guy and his friend immediately walked away from me.

Dan...if you are reading this...when the fuck are we going to hang out?

A rare public political stance by yours truly...

Way to fuck shit up NBC. There's no fucking way I'm staying up past 11PM to watch Jimmy Fallon or Carson Daly.

Dryer rehearsal

My old band DRYER is getting back together after an 8 year hiatus for a show in March. It was pretty rough at first but I was pretty surprised to see how quickly the songs came back to us. The great thing was it was a lot fun to play with them again. And I missed that.

We've been rehearsing at Wilson Chapel which is located on campus at job #1. Here are some photos from rehearsal. Don't worry. We won't make you sing along.

Everyone on this side say "hey ho"

I heard a live version of Girls On Film by Duran Duran at work today. At one point lead singer, Simon LeBond asks the crowd to sing along and demands that only one side of the crowd sings. He then makes the other side sing and insists they sing louder. About midway through this I realized that I really fucking hate this when bands/performers ask you to do this bullshit. Just sing the fucking song. Right? I paid hard earned money to see you sing. I didn't pay to hear the people around me sing. Making me or the people around me sing is like making me work at your concert, and that's bullshit. I just want to stand there with my beverage in one hand, a lighter in my other hand so I can hold it above my head once and awhile and then tap my toes to the beat of the song. Maybe even dance a little bit. If I'm singing, I can't do all that shit. Especially if I'm holding a beverage. Don't make me fucking sing along. I don't want to sing along. I just want to go to the goddamn concert and hear you play the goddamn songs that you and your goddamn band wrote. How hard is that? Not that hard dude. Not that fucking hard. Next band/musician that asks me to sing along is going to get an ass kicking. Mark my words.

The past couple of weeks

Hey. Sorry about the lack of activity here other than an occasional post about..well..nothing. The holidays tend to overwhelm and completely get in the way of everything.

Here are a few things I've been meaning to post.

I SWITCHED GROCERY MARKETS

I wouldn't advise doing this unless you had a really good reason to do so. I recently spent 30 minutes of my life walking up and down the aisles of my new grocery store in search of horseradish mayo.

IT’S ROBE YOU WEAR BACKWARDS

I would never admit to owning a snuggie. I would never buy a snuggie. But wouldn’t refuse one if I got it for a gift. Just saying.

SPANDEX DOESN’T HELP MY SELF ESTEEM, BUT I’M WARM

I recently purchased my first pair of base layers a few days ago and I haven’t stopped wearing them. Not sure how I’ve gone this long in life with out them. It’s sort of like wearing a spandex suit of warmth and when you put them on you kind of feel like Spider-Man. But instead of a superhero physic it’s more of a lumpy 40-year-old physic. At least in my case it is. What? I’m lumpy.

FAMILY GUY VS THE SIMPSONS

Family Guy is funnier. No need to argue with me on this one.

SIGNS THAT I'M GROWING UP

I use to hate eating ham. Now I love it. I'm growing up.