Saturday, May 02, 2009
"What are you?"
It's a known fact that all Asian people look the same. Even the halvesies like me. There's even a website dedicated to this phenomenon.
I never really thought about it until recently when on Thursday night I was out a local drinking establishment drowning my lonely lonely sorrows in an ice cold beer....where there happens to be a guy who works there...who happens to be Asian. And this guy (not the Asian guy. A white guy-JUST SAYIN!) who I don't know comes up and says "Oh hey, you work here". And I responded with "no, sorry. I don't. You must be confusing me with the OTHER Asian guy in the room who DOES work here". The guy sort of looked embarrassed and then I felt like a huge douche. So I quickly turned it around and we talked about how nice the weather was. Yeah. Awkward.
But then the next day I was at Walmart getting some prescriptions filled (only $5 bucks there!) and this girl that I know...well sort of know. I actually know her brother. But this girl comes up and says (while she's on the phone talking to someone else)"Hey George..how are you? How are you and Brittany doing?" Okay...a little background for all of you. The George she is speaking of is this OTHER Asian guy who lives in town and is dating this girl Brittany. So to spare this girl from total embarrassment, I tell her that I am fine but Brittany and I broke up because she found my stash of anime porn in a box labeled "kitchen utensils". And before I even get a chance to tell her I'm kidding she starts to run off and says "Thats sooooo wonderful....good to see you....chow" and goes off continuing with her phone call. I bet she wasn't even paying attention to me. Asian people get no respect.
In case you ever wondered if there was some sort of hierarchy in the Asian world. Here it is. Well, according to my friends mom who's Chinese (atleast I think they're Chinese).
The rest are all fabled creatures.