Best Halloween costume ever!!!!

Man with the homeless hand living in a cardboard box.

Halloween!

I ran around last night looking for a Halloween costume because apparently it's what people do on Halloween. Didn't have much luck. But in all honesty I wasn't looking too hard. While on my quest I did stumble across this....
Somehow Hannaford got the rights to bastardize one of my favorite childhood memories. Fuckers.

I've been traveling a lot for work lately. That equates to working hard. Today was spent at home base. Sooo I did what anyone else would do. I plopped myself down in front of the campus fireplace and did some work. Life is hard. I know.

In case I don't post anything anytime soon. Have a safe and fun Halloween. If you see a cute little girl that looks a little bit like me dressed up as Snow White. Don't steal her candy. I will seriously fuck you up if you do.

Will someone buy me a portable neck traction thingy? Please?

One of my favorite things about traveling the friendly skies is I get to catch up on the latest Sky Mall magazine. A collection of odd gizmos/knick knacks/gifts out there. And if you are someone trying to break into the modeling world and you do model for them, well you can pretty much consider it the kiss of death for your career. Here are some of my faves...

Turkish delight

Really not much to mention today regarding todays adventure in Missouri other than the fact that I got a haircut from Turkish man. It was a first for me. You always remember your first time. While cutting my hair he told me I had an oddly shaped head. He kept saying in a heavy Turkish accent "your head..it's oddly shaped....you have a flat spot on the back...do you want me to cut it so it doesn't look so flat?" Wait...the back of my head is flat? No one ever told me that. The ladies at the JC Penny's Salon (don't judge) never told me it was flat. He took my hand and guided it over the flat spot. He was right. There's a flat spot. So I said sure...cut it so it looks good. Then he laughed. Bastard. Still. I liked him. He was a delight to talk with, and the back of my head doesn't look so flat.

Missouri likes company

Sometimes job #1 requires a bit of traveling. This week is one of those times. Got up at 5AM and took a 3 hour flight out to St Louis and then a 2 hour shuttle ride to Columbus. Here are todays high points.

Here's the view from my seat. The guy sitting behind me kept making these sighing noises the whole time. And would then tap on the window. Dick.

At one point I got separated from my boss. This is me lost at the St Louis airport.

This is funny because it actually says Fort Howard, but someone changed the "o" in fort to make it say fart. And then someone added the letter "h" between the "w" and "a" in Howard to make it say How Hard. People sure are funny.

Apparently ASAP at the California Pizza Kitchen means I'll get to you when I'm done talking to my boyfriend.
This is me and the boss. We sat in the sun and waited for our shuttle driver who seems to have forgotten about most standard driving laws.

Update on my nuts

They still ache.. But I got a cupcake. So, yeah. Life ain't so bad.

Your zucchini ain't shit.....AAAAND my nuts hurt

As the world was fixated on the antics of balloon boy yesterday, I was more focused on a giant zucchini that was left in the break room at work the other day. I placed a small stack of pringles next to it to give you an idea of how big it is.

Side note regarding the pringles: I gave up on "owning" that can of pringles from a few days ago. Sadly I gave up and turned over the can to someone who I knew could show it who's boss.

Also in todays news..I think I actually busted a nut yesterday. As in...something isn't right down there. It hurts. A lot. I walked into a chair and caught the jewels on the edge. Didn't think much about it until this morning when I got out of bed and it felt like my gonads went ten rounds with and raccoon mad with rabies.

Here's something to look forward to. Next week I will be in Missouri all week for work. Photos and words will be posted here every night next week so check back. That way you'll be a part of the fun. Me and the boss are gonna tear it up out there.

Pringles party

I'm about to show this can of Pringles who's the boss.

Bank fight

I see what you are trying to do to me Adirondack Trust. I can see it loud and clear...and in 3D.

I battled the bank over a hundred dollar fee today and won. Ha!! I win. Victory is mine.