Sunday, March 22, 2009

What part of toasted don't you understand?


Not Toast
The concept of toasting bread or any type of bread like product (like a bagel, for example) is simple. You put the bread in the toaster, give it a few seconds (sometime minutes depending on the toaster) and then you got toast. Toast being bread that has a bit of a char on it, a good crunch, slightly stiff so it can hold all that melted butter or topping of your choice and a slightly different (almost nutty) flavor. To me, that's toast. Any type of toaster works. This means the top load toasters that you find in most homes, conveyor belt style toasters, toaster ovens. It's a freakin chemical reaction that any unsupervised 10 year old can do. Heat is applied to the bread. Shit happens in the toaster and like magic, you got toast. Easy, right? What is so fucking hard about that?

What toast isn't is slightly warmed up bread that looks and taste exactly the same as it did when it went in originally. That isn't toast. That my friends is what I call bullshit.

On a side note. I also have a friend whose nickname is Toast. She's a hippy space cadet who believes in unicorns. She once drove past me and beeped her car horn while I was standing on a corner. She later told me that she wanted to yell "how much bitch!!".

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Why are you so whiney today? Eat some toast and cheer up!