Sunday, August 03, 2008

The day mom bought cocaine

First thing you have to know about my mother...she is a small Vietnamese woman with an incredibly heavy Vietnamese accent. This conversation happened about a month or so ago. I'm just getting around to telling it cause I'm lazy...and I forgot all about it..until I was reminded of it this morning.

Our conversation went something like this......

Mom: I bought cocaine today.
Me: What?
Mom: (big smile on her face) I bought cocaine today.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Mom: (annoyed look on her face) What do you think I mean? I bought cocaine. Thats what I mean.
Me: You bought cocaine?
Mom: Yes.
Me: (shocked look on face) You bought cocaine? Today? It's here? Where is it. Show me.
Mom: (now pissed at me) Whats the big deal! It's out on the porch.
Me: What!! It's on the porch!! Are you serious!! What are you thinking! Show it to me.
Mom: (walking out the front door and cursing me under her breath) It's out here!! See! (then she pulls out a CROQUET set), cocaine. (then mutters under her breath "asshole").
Me: (relieved) Jesus Christ bought a croquet set...not cocaine. Don't tell people you bought cocaine.
Mom: (now obviously very pissed at me) That's what I said....cocaine. (then storms off back into the house).
Me: (yelling from the porch) It's called CROQUET!!!
Mom: Thats what I said!...COCAINE!

This morning my mom asked me if I wanted to play cocaine.
Turns out mom is actually pretty good at the game.

1 comment:

Lily said...

I'm pretty good at cocaine. The mallet is similar in size to a mini golf club. I am also pretty good at mini golf.


Well, today!