Happy Birthday Kimberly

This is my little brother. Actually this is Odd Job, one of the more popular villains from the early James Bond movies. But my little brother looks a lot like Odd Job only without the hat. My brother, whose name is David celebrated a birthday yesterday on February 2. Yes. Groundhogs Day. As you would guess, when we were kids there were a lot of inappropriate and very funny "back in the burrow" jokes. So much so that even my mom would join in on the fun from time to time. I normally like to celebrate my little brothers birthday by calling him at 7AM when I know he's still sleeping to wish him happy birthday. As he does every year, he answers the phone and complains about why I call him so early. Some years I'll call and hang up when he answers and then call back in 15 minutes when I know he's fallen back to sleep. When he finally answers he's all cranky and likes to tell me how he doesn't sleep well and wishes I would call later in the afternoon..blah blah blah. It's good to know that this year he didn't disappoint me. He even got a bit mad this year. More than usual. Man, old people can't take a joke.

I usually greet him with my usual "Happy Birthday Kimberly". The name Kimberly comes from when my mom was pregnant and was 100% positive that the life inside of her was going to be a beautiful little girl. They set up the room for a girl, picked a girls name and bought all these cute little dresses for their new daughter. Just imagine their faces when their cute little girl turned out to be an ugly, yet lovable little boy. So they ditched the name Kimberly and named him David instead, they traded pretty dresses for onsies with rocket ships and lions on them and quickly made plans to raise two little boys. My parents told me this story when I was 10. Worst mistake they've ever made. I've called my brother Kimberly ever since. And as you would guess there were plenty of fist fights over the fact that I would call him Kimberly.

Happy birthday little bro. Thanks for the 6 extra weeks of winter. Now would you please remove your head from moms crotch.