Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Nothing Broke

I really wasn’t going to address this but since everyone has been asking, here goes. My foot was run over by a VW Golf. A little black one to be exact.....with Michigan plates. It sounds stupid, but that’s what happened. It happened when the driver was backing out and turned his wheel. The front end of the car swung around and rode right over my foot and a little bit up my ankle. When I realized there was a fucking German car sitting on my left foot, I immediately pounded on the hood of the car and said something along the line of “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..AHHHHHHHHHHHHH...AHHHH...YOU’RE ON MY FOOT....YOU’RE ON MY FOOOOOT....AHHHHHHHHH!” Yeah..no...yeah, that’s what I said. I’m sure of it. The driver of the car looked a little startled and immediately realized what was going on. He put his VW Golf in drive and removed his car off of my foot. Since his parents raised him right, the young man got out and asked me if I was okay. At the time, my foot seemed fine. The whole thing took place in about 20 seconds. It just stung a little bit. So I told him I was good and said don’t worry about it and both of us went on our separate merry ways. But the next day was a different story. I woke up, crawled out of bed, put my foot down and it felt like it was on fire. I drove myself to one of those medical facilities that’s not the hospital but not your regular doctors office. They checked me in and sent me down the hall for x-rays. And when I say “down the hall” I mean, they sent me ALL THE WAY ACROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING...and, AND, without a wheelchair! So I hobbled to the x-ray place where this kind lady took my x-rays and sent me hobbling ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING back to the medical facility. I sat in a room for about 10 minutes reading an old People magazine from 2003, which was bullshit. C’mon..the magazine is 4 years old. Surely you’ve gotten new magazines since then. Anyway, the doctor came and realized they x-rayed the wrong part of my foot. So, I had to get up, hobble ALL THE WAY BACK TO......well, you get the point...I had to go back to the x-ray room. The woman, took me back into the room for more x-rays and then sent me back to the doctor where I sat in the room flipping through the same old People magazine from 2003. The doctor came back in and said everything looked fine. I had bruised a bone (which I didn’t know you could do) and had a really bad sprain. They wrapped up my ankle, gave me some sweet crutches made out of what looked like some crazy futuristic metal from a UFO, which my friend was quick to say the futuristic metal was called “aluminum.....aluuuumminuum”. Yeah, whatever, my crutches are made out of futuristic metal and you are just jealous because I technically have a UFO sitting under my arm pits. Where was I? Oh, so they sent me and my beat up foot out the door and told me to check in with my regular doctor. And that’s about it. That’s the story of how I got hurt.

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