Sexy

Look at that picture. I know what some of you are thinking. You think that cheeseburger looks disgusting. That's because you are probably a snob and don't know what a real cheeseburger is all about. This cheeseburger is wonderful. It's greasy..real greasy. The roll has been grilled and is absolutely delicious. The cheese is perfectly melted. The sauce is spicy, tangy and sweet all at the same time. Plus there's a small pile of grilled onions cooked right to the point where the natural sugars sneak out and make them nice and sweet. Oh...and it's served on a small paper plate...the way it was meant to be served. This cheeseburger is awesome. I got it on Caroline St at Hot Dog Charlies. Sure..the hot dogs are good. But the cheeseburgers are better. Watching someone eat one of these isn't pretty. But who wants pretty? I could eat two of them. I HAVE eaten two of them..plus fries.

In todays episode, I'm sick. I've got happy pills. My feet are tortured.

This is the look of a sad and sick man. I've been sick for the last couple of days and last night I took the recommended dosage of NyQuil...and then stupidly I took another dose of NyQuil because I forgot I took it earlier. This was at around midnight last night. It is now almost 3PM the next day. I woke up about a little less than an hour ago. I basically slept for 14 hours. Luckily I didn't wet myself...which sort of sucks because that would be funny if I did. What really sucks is I still feel like shit.
Here is a photo of my new best friends during the day. These little yellow happy pills come from CVS and work better than any allergy/cold pill I've ever taken. Taking one will do the trick. Taking two will do the trick and then some. Taking three will comatose you....which I wouldn't recommend. Because you never know when you'll find yourself in a situation where you'll be operating heavy machinery.

These are the new flip flops I bought. How do you people wear these things? It's the most painful thing I've ever had on my feet. Having something crammed in between my toes hurts a shit-ton. Normally I don't wear flip flops because the reason being.....and this is true....what if I'm in a situation where I have to defend myself. Surely I can't do it in flip flops. Right? Plus the fact that I don't like shit between my toes. Anyways. Here are my new flip flops. I'm stupid. I know.

Good lord my feet are ugly.

tri-cornered candy necklace hat

Remember when I was house sitting/dog watching for my friends? While I was cleaning up dog vomit and dog shit, they were off galavanting around the U.S. creating beautiful family memories. Well to show their appreciation for my hard work they gave me one of those awesome tri-cornered hats like they wore back in the colonial days. They also gave me a candy necklace..which I'm assuming they ate during the colonial days.

I gotta say. I look pretty damn good.

I'm a technical whiz

My phone screen use to look like this...


After a jailbreak and uploading of other folders and such, it now looks like this.......

Look at that....I'm an adult prodigy.

Not really.

But I'm an adult idiot who knows how to follow instructions.
You can do the same to your phone by clicking here.

Life is boring so shuffle your iPod

Out of sheer laziness to post anything about my day today..and the fact that I live an uninteresting life as you can tell from older posts. I've decided to show you the first 10 songs on my iPod when I put it on shuffle.

Trust me....this beats my original post about how I really think the USA Network has the best shows on television. Which is true. It does.

1) The English Beat - Save it for later

2) Hot Snakes - Braintrust

3) The Pernice Brothers - Dumb it down

4) The Jam - The Place I love

5) Fugazi - Provisional

6) Phoenix - Girlfriend

7) Sebadoh - Magnets coil

8) Lenka - The show

9) Saves The Day - Freakish

10) Beulah - A good man is easy to kill

Happy Birthday to my daughter

My daughter turned 3 years old today!

While we were at the bookstore today she turned to me and asked me if it was still her birthday. She's the cutest thing ever.

Yes Gwen...it is STILL your birthday!

Best Of the Best - B.O.B.

The following things have been said to me in the last week.

This is what a Russian dude said to me after meeting me:
"Your name is Bob.....Best Of the Best. B.O.B."

This is what my friend Alex said to me the other day out of the blue:
Alex: Hey Bob
Me: Yes Alex.
Alex: ...you have a fuzzy teddy bear personality.
Me: Umm...thanks?
Alex: No Bob..this isn't a good thing.

It's not porn...but it's close.

I know...two video posts in a row. I'm sorry. Won't happen again. But this one is fun. Imagine two dudes wearing bacon skirts doing kung fu moves and beating each other with sausage nun-chucks. Because this is exactly that. Pretty much every mans dream.