I can see!

I just realized that if I wore my glasses, which I've owned for over a year now, I can actually see things better. Funny how that works.

Desk is still a mess but I'm working on it. I know it looks worse but I swear, I'm working on it.

Sheer madness

What the hell is going on in this world!

First Farrah Fawcette, then Michael Jackson...now Billy Mays!!!

When will all this madness end! When!!! How many people have to die before this all stops!!

In other news...

My feet hurt.

Casual Friday

Nothing says casual like a douchy looking polo shirt.
Enjoy your Friday everyone.

Seven inches of hot beef

Commercially right. Morally wrong.

Stains

Not sure if you can see em. But I'm pointing at two stains on my shirt. I thought they were from today but they are not. I put on a dirty shirt this morning even though I have a closet full of clean shirts. Why? No idea. Though I have a sneaking suspicion that it's because I was feeling lazy and didn't want to iron a shirt.

I actually remember getting those stains. The one on the left was from french onion soup and the one on the right is from a french fry disaster. As for the stain on my face....well that isn't a stain at all. It's 2 weeks of facial hair growth. I'm in summer mode baby. Summer mode.

My desk is a mess. I know.

Scary Owl

Man, I love being a father. Yesterday was Fathers Day and me and my almost 3 year old daughter played a game that she made up called Scary Owl. Rules are simple. One person pretends to be asleep. The other person pretends to be a scary owl and hoots and howls until the sleeping person wakes up. It ends when both the sleeping person and the scary owl are screaming at a very loud volume. It was the most fun I've ever had.

Just thought I'd share a little.

What the hell was in that bag?

In an attempt to be a nice person today I ended up being a bad person. I held the door open for a woman today and as she approached the door she gave me a look, which looked more like a snarl, and told me she didn't need help from a man and that it was typical of a me to assume that she needed the door held. So like any good man, I let go of the door and walked away. The door closed on her bag that apparently had something special in it and crushed whatever it was. I heard this sound that sounded like a plastic cup being crushed and then she lost her shit and started screaming about the contents of her bag. Once the door had her bag thoroughly pinned she then started to cry. I tried to help her but she told me to go away and then threw a pen at me. Luckily for me she had lousy aim and missed me because that pen could have easily been a hatchet. Or bullet.

See what happens when you try to be nice.

Not the actual angry pen throwing woman.

Photo borrowed from my friend Ally's blog to help you get a mental image of what occurred today. Just imagine an angry face instead of the face of a happy grandma who just gave you a birthday card with your name misspelled and a dollar in it.

I promise to love it every day.

Will someone please get me one of these?

I promise to never get it wet.
I promise to keep it out of bright lights...especially sunlight.
And I promise to never, EVER feed it after midnight.

Keep the change you filthy animal

When I say help...I actually mean a turkey/bacon/avocado sandwich. And when I say send, I actually mean buy me one.

Please.

Dear lord. Why.

Not sure what movie they are filming, but this photo alone tells me it's gonna suck. Just saying.

hamburger cupcakes

I can't say I came up with the idea, because I didn't. I actually saw these on a foodie blog (can't remember who) a few months ago and thought it would be a fun thing for me and my daughter to do.

I think they came out pretty dang cute. Almost as cute as my daughter. Actually...that's not true because my daughter is pretty freaking cute. She laughed so hard when we finished making the cupcakes and then proceeded to run around the house yelling "hamburger cupcakes" over and over.

Damn you

I hate you for being so delicious.