Hear ye! Hear Ye!

I recently heard a rumor about me from my friend Doc, who heard it from someone else, that I'm part of one of those clubs that dresses up on weekends as one of those 18th century knights and does battle with other sword wielding folks. Weird, right? One part of me is sort of impressed that a rumor like this can exist while another part of me is sort of pissed. What kind of cheap nerd do you think I am? If I were to do anything like that it definitely wouldn't be any of that knight bullshit. Obviously I'd be wielding a lightsaber dressed as a badass Jedi. Some people have no idea who the fuck I am.

CORRECTION
So out of pure stupidity I made a mistake. I said 18th century when I meant 12th century.

Are you looking at me because I'm hideous?

I had to run to Target today to do a couple of things for work. On the way I ate half of an egg salad sandwich for lunch. I ran into Target, got what I had to get, wandered around a bit and then checked out. The girl at the checkout line looked at me funny which isn't unusual since I'm borderline hideous. I went back to my car and looked in the mirror and realized that I had egg salad on my face..and not near my mouth, but on my forehead. My freakin forehead!! A huge chunk of egg white and some of the yolk. On my forehead!!!! Which makes it even worse. It makes me look like I'm too stupid to know how to eat.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Why am I such a freaking mess?!?!