Are you looking at me because I'm hideous?

I had to run to Target today to do a couple of things for work. On the way I ate half of an egg salad sandwich for lunch. I ran into Target, got what I had to get, wandered around a bit and then checked out. The girl at the checkout line looked at me funny which isn't unusual since I'm borderline hideous. I went back to my car and looked in the mirror and realized that I had egg salad on my face..and not near my mouth, but on my forehead. My freakin forehead!! A huge chunk of egg white and some of the yolk. On my forehead!!!! Which makes it even worse. It makes me look like I'm too stupid to know how to eat.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Why am I such a freaking mess?!?!