Saturday, August 04, 2007

Dude, I invented the friggin iPhone. Have you heard of it?

Well it finally happened. My little slice of internet fun known as Fake Steve Jobs, has been ruined by a guy named Brad Stone. I don't know much about Brad except he use to write for Newsweek but I guess he's now some ass munch reporter from the New York Times. What the fuck man. Can't you let the world have a little fun? I mean, whatever dude. You suck. But Fake Steve Jobs seems to be handling it okay. And even though FSJ has been outed, I still won't put his real name here. Because in my mind he's still that smarmy fun loving tech guru who's personal quote is "I love beautiful objects. I love creating them. Negative people upset me". God bless you Fake Steve Jobs. So Brad Stone from the New York Times, I hope you get a horrible case of crabs. You and Steve Bartman.

While we're at it......

* Vader is Luke's dad -- The Empire Strikes Back
* Rosebud was his sled -- Citizen Kane
* She's her sister and her daughter -- Chinatown
* Norman is the killer (in drag) -- Psycho
* Verbal is Keyser Sze -- The Usual Suspects
* Doc is dead -- The Sixth Sense
* Earth, in the future -- Planet of the Apes
* Dog gets put down -- Old Yeller
* Soylent Green is people! -- Soylent Green
* He dumps her -- Gone With the Wind
* Life is a simulation (whoa) -- The Matrix
* Husband is in on it -- Rosemary's Baby
* She is a he -- The Crying Game
* Dave disconnects HAL -- 2001: A Space Odyssey
* Split personality -- Fight Club
* Citizens paint town red -- High Plains Drifter
* Wife's head in box -- Se7en
* Maggie shot Mr. Burns -- The Simpsons
* Mistress shot J. R. -- Dallas
* Laura Palmer's father did it -- Twin Peaks
* Double suicide -- Romeo and Juliet
* 42 -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
* Boys are rescued -- Lord of the Flies
* Whale destroys boat, lives -- Moby-Dick
* Shark destroys boat, killed -- Jaws
* He buries himself -- The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
* Gatsby is murdered -- The Great Gatsby
* A-P-P-L-E -- The Da Vinci Code
* John commits suicide -- Brave New World
* Burned books are memorized -- Fahrenheit 451
* Mark Felt is Deep Throat -- Watergate
* Greek soldiers in horse -- The Trojan War
* Samus Aran is a woman -- Metroid
* Prisoner is saved -- The Pit and the Pendulum
* She's an actress -- Lonelygirl15
* They're all in on it -- Murder on the Orient Express
* They didn't sing any of their songs--Milli Vanilli
* There is no Santa -- Christmas

Oh come on!!! Like you didn't know any of those!
Don't blame me for this list. I got it from the people at Wired Magazine...except for the Milli Vanilli tidbit. That one is mine.

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